Simile of the pedant and the
elephant
A new version, proof-read
and corrected by "Ned
Ludd",
of the famous simile of the blind men and the elephant
" Five blind men and a
pedant (who had eyes but could not see)
decided one day that their mission in life was to discover an
elephant..."
Zen
and the Art of Repairing Flat Tyres
Ken Kifer
finally reveals how to apply Zen
to the art of repairing flat tyres on bicycles!
"You are riding on
a picturesque country road on your bicycle with the wind in your hair
and
birds singing in the nearby trees, and you are about to reach a
Zen-like
state of rapture when you start noticing your rear wheel. It seems to
be
bumping on the ground. Gradually, you realize that you have a flat..."
Why did the Chicken Cross the
Road
And here's a set-piece
with some Buddhist bits
thrown in!
Sundry
Various unrelated jokes.
Wuming
lu: the record of the life
and teachings of Wuming (Mumyô) (Anonymous author)
WUMING ("No
light") the cucumber sage. Compiled by Master
Dongwang, abbott of
Hanxin Monastery in the thirteenth year of the Earth Dragon Year
(898)...
My
dear friend, most reverend
master Dongwang,...
The Light Bulb Sutra
I- Thus have I heard
On one occasion,
the World Honoured One was staying
in
Rajagriha on the Vulture Peak, with a large following of monks and a
great crowd of bodhisattvas. It was getting late, and at that moment,
although it was dusk, the Blessed One was being concentrated on that
part of the dharmas which is called Profound Enlightenment, which
made him glimmer softly in the semi-darkness...
and
other dubious jokes :
(Light Bulb Koan, Death
of a Zen Master).
Death of a Zen Master (with modifications and
corrections)
A
contemporary Zen
master lay dying on his
death bed. His
monks had all gathered around his bed,
from the
most senior to the most novice monk. The senior monk leaned over to
ask the dying master if he had any final words of advice for his
monks. The old master slowly opened his eyes and in a weak voice
whispered. "Tell them Truth is like a river."...
Zen for Dummies
"Wouldn't it be
nice if the for
dummies series book publishers came up with books dealing with
religion : Buddhism for Dummies, Zen for Dummies".
Ned: «Ok,
I see a black-and-white cover with a line drawing of a
dog, its
butt parked on the ground, and a large hand reaching in
from the
border of the book, pointing a finger at the dog, with
a balloon
quote containing the words, "Sit! Sit! Sit!" !"»
...
Don't sleep! (A
funny Rinzai site)
Do not zzz...
Version
française